Those name-brand clothes were such a flex. If your shirt said Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, or Aéropostale, you felt like the baddest bitch in town.

Ah yes, the root of my anxiety. If you loved these things, congrats on your incredible ability to work under pressure. You’re probably like a doctor now or something, so kudos.

These things probably got washed once a year and always smelled like pubescent sweat paired with notes of musty storage closet.

Admit it, you wanted this phone. Look at that beautiful keyboard! No more T9 for you, baby!

I can smell this picture. I can still feel the lower back pain from those seats. This is so visceral.

Nothing boosts that prepubescent self-confidence quite like being called “train tracks” or “metal mouth” every day! Bonus points to my troopers who also had those horrible rubber bands clamping your jaw shut. Wasn’t it just delightful when they’d snap right on your lip?

I’ll bet some guys wish they’d studied those female reproductive diagrams a little harder! Also, stop with the “abstinence only” bullshit, okay?

Nothing screams “I need a shower, but I have Social Studies in three minutes!” quite like this smell.

We really thought we were doing something when we caked blue eyeliner on our bottom lids, huh? Ironically, we could probably all rock this look now.

How to spot a popular girl: Is she wearing yoga pants? Does her sweatshirt say PINK? Does she smell like bubble gum and secrets?

Remember when it was cool to draw a mustache on the inside of your index finger and pose for pictures with it? What the fuck was that?

Why were we dancing to “Bed Rock” and “Bottoms Up” and why do I still know all the words?

What’s my combination? Why won’t it open? Am I going to be late for Spanish? HELP!

Sometimes your newest Facebook selfie just really needed a glitter border and 11 heart stickers, okay?

AIM was the place to chat up your BFF, stalk your crush, and set the perfect angsty status. Which Paramore lyric should I use this time?

Did your school have those kids who pretended to be vampires after reading and/or watching Twilight? Are they okay now?

Bonus points if you hid your phone in your shoe so you could text in class!

Why was it cool to have patterned duck tape? Why did we all want duck tape wallets? What was that?

Middle schoolers love to express themselves, and what better way to do so than by wearing neon socks that don’t match? It’s not a phase, Mom!


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